


1990

by twinkhemmings



Series: 90's love [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst and Porn, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Car Sex, Declarations Of Love, Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, First Time, Friendship, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Holding Hands, I'm sorry I'm so bad at tagging, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Orgasm, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, Stoner!Ashton, Stoner!Luke, Substance Abuse, Underage Drinking, Unresolved Emotional Tension, life is hard and love is even harder, they are basically two working class boys in love, they both love The Stone Roses and British bands in general, well kinda more like car blowjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:47:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4870636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinkhemmings/pseuds/twinkhemmings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t like guys, Luke” Ashton whispered tentatively against the blonde’s pulsing throat.<br/>“But you like me?” the younger boy muttered back, his heart pounding in his chest and his eyes slipping closed in anticipation.<br/>“Yes, I like you a lot.” </p><p>Or the one where two working-class boys from Manchester fall in love, but will society’s perception of ‘normal’ stop them from being together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1990

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever posting on AO3 and I'm a little bit nervous!  
> This story was inspired by my love of old British pop-rock bands, especially ones from the 90's as they're what I grew up listening to.  
> Feel free to follow me on tumblr: twinkhemmings.tumblr.com
> 
> Let me know how you feel about this writing. Also, there will be more chapters to come, but bare with me!
> 
> ♡

The Stone Roses were one of Ashton’s favourite things in the world along with girl’s arses and a fresh pack of cigarettes from the corner store. Nothing could beat the rush he felt when he heard the raw guitar chords and heavy smash of a drum kit, the underlying bass making his ears throb in the best of ways.

One thing that was not on Ashton’s list of favourite things: hearing his alarm sound and his mum screeching up the stairs that he needed to get up for college.

College – that’s what he hated. At 17 years old you would have thought that he was educated enough to be released into the real world, but oh no, the government have some sort of _crazy_ idea that if they manage to keep him in education until he’s 18, he will magically become a rich business man rather than work on minimum wage.

Bullshit. His life is absolute bullshit.

 

 

“Get the fuck up, mum’s made you a sandwich” his older brother, Elliot, shouted through the paper-thin walls of his bedroom in an attempt to entice him out of his slumber. Ashton merely groaned in response, kicking his duvet to the end of the bed and wiping his eyes with the back of his hands before dragging himself into a sitting position.

His immediate action was to reach for his ‘Happy Mondays’ vinyl beside his bed, pulling the record from the sleeve and placing it on the turntable in an attempt to put him in a reasonable mood. The starting piano chords from ‘Step On’ was enough for a slight smile to break out on his face as he reached for a clean pair of boxer briefs, finding a pair easily and dragging them up his pale legs.

Taking a quick sniff of the armpits of his favourite Adidas sweater to make sure he would at least smell clean, he tugged the fabric over his unruly curls and onto his slim torso. His fairly baggy jeans were easy to find, as were his second-hand trainers – he wasn’t going to complain, they were some of Elliot’s limited edition – meaning that all he needed to find was his bag containing his football kit.

That was another thing that Ashton loved, football; Manchester City football club to be exact. He was aware that he wasn’t particularly good at it, but on an estate as rough as this one, it didn’t really matter how good you were as long as it kept you fit enough to run away from the police on a Friday night. Underage drinking tended to lead to the coppers coming after you, especially when you smashed a few windows and sold kids cigarettes whilst you were at it.

That’s working class Manchester for you; a couple of pints and fighting inanimate objects on your way home.

 

 

After bounding down the stairs to the scent of burning toast, the curly-haired boy was face to face with his mother in her dressing gown and his two older brothers – Owen and Elliot – in their mechanic jumpsuits, oil coating every inch of the worn fabric.

“Wow, ready on time for once, kiddo” Owen chimed, taking a sip of his tea and winking at Ashton. Owen had always been Ash’s favourite of his two brothers, always looking out for him and only occasionally making fun of his haircut.

“Do you want a lift or are you getting the bus with those dorky mates of yours?” Elliot questioned, referring to his group of friends living in various houses on their street.

“Think I’ll catch the bus, I’ve got a tape I want to give back to Rachel” Ashton retorted, earning a low whistle and wink from his two brothers.

“Shame you can’t give her virginity back” Owen howled, high-fiving his brother whilst their mother slapped them on the back of the head with a quick scold of _‘boys.’_

“She seemed like a lovely girl by the way Ashton, maybe you should stick with her for a while rather than keep messing all these different ones around? You’re going to get a bad reputation” his mother almost pleaded, sick and tired of having to introduce herself to the different girls that he decided to bring home after an intoxicated night out.

 

“I’m not really that into her mum. That’s why I’m giving her the tape back so that I don’t have to invite her round again” he mumbled spooning his soggy cereal into his mouth, his brothers once again cackling in the background.

“I just wish you’d chose one on none at all, sweetheart, it’s not fair on them” she said, carding her hand through his knotted curls before going back to washing the dishes; “Girls your age are looking for love, not for a boy to use them.”

“I don’t use them mum, I’ve only shagged two of them anyway” he muttered, his brothers now howling with laughter as they stood up from the table and dropped their plates into their mother’s dishwater.

“Ashton Fletcher Irwin, I brought you up better than this! No more girls in this house until you bring one home that’s actually your girlfriend” she scolded, taking his almost empty bowl from the table and unfolding the back of his shirt collar; “Brush your teeth before you leave.”

 

*

“What do you mean we haven’t got tickets for Spike Island!? It’s gonna be the biggest Roses gig of the year!?” Michael wailed, the sleeves of his red Harrington jacket flailing around with his over-exaggerated hand gestures as they discussed the upcoming Stone Roses concert.

“I mean we didn’t get tickets, you fucking moron - they sold out” Calum replied, hitting the other boy around the back of the head with his sports bag as the three of them walked towards their first class of the day, gym, which meant that they would essentially spend an hour freezing to death in a field.

“You’re useless, y’know that Hood? Tell him he’s useless, Ash” Michael pleaded, tapping the other boy on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Mike’s right, you did fuck up pretty badly, mate” Ash teased the dark-haired boy, wrapping his left arm around his neck and pulling him into a playful headlock and ruffling his hair; “It’s alright though, we can just sneak in. Security’s never too tight at outdoor gigs.”

“You two are arseholes, you know that, right?” Calum groaned, pulling himself from the tight hold and pushing his hair out of his eyes.

 

The locker room was already fairly crowded, the voices of various boys in their year group echoing off the tiled walls as they changed into their sports kit. The three boys greeted several of their other friends, giving them a quick fist bump before slinging their bags onto one of the back benches and beginning to pull their clothes out. They could hear the faint shout of the sports teacher telling them to _‘hurry up, you lazy sons of bitches’_ as their fellow classmates responded with various curses, the boys chatting casually as they dressed in their appropriate attire.

Their school locker room was another thing Ashton didn’t like. The stench was one thing; sweat and a lingering aroma of weed, but another thing he had an issue with was the confined space – too many greasy boys in his personal space, not something he was fond of. He tugged his final item of clothing on, a thick sweater, before clapping his friends on the back and heading to the field in anticipation for their run, the cold British weather doing nothing to help the goosebumps rising on his skin.

 

 

“Fuck me, its freezing” the boy next to Ashton grumbled when they were stood in a line outside for warm-ups, the grass virtually solid with how cold the ground was.

“You can say that again” he complained in agreement, bouncing on his feet in an attempt to keep his blood circulating. The boy chuckled lightly in response making Ashton turn his head at the delicate sound and his eyes catch the side of a blonde’s face. He could see a floppy quiff on top of his head – a haircut Ashton was sure should have stayed in the 80’s – and the chiselled features of the young man’s jaw and cheekbone.

“Is there something on my face?” the boy asked, eyes slightly wide with concern as he blew into his hands to warm them up, Ashton blushing slightly and averting his gaze as he realised he had been staring at the poor kid.

“Nah, sorry man” he laughed gently, setting off jogging as he heard the coach blow the starting whistle.

“It’s cool” the blonde responded casually, “Name’s Luke by the way” he continued, jogging at the same pace as Ashton as the line of boys began to separate into different small groups – he didn’t even know which group Calum and Michael had been put in.

“Ashton” he said, turning and giving a brief smile to the tall boy; “I think we’ve played footy together at the park on Litchfield Avenue a few times?”

“Oh yeah!” he exclaimed back, his eyebrows raising on his forehead; “You’re the one who’s good with both feet, right?” he continued, Ashton mumbling a quick ‘yes’ in reply as they gave another quick smile before focusing on making their way through the trees – cross country is going to be the death of him, he swears to god it is.

 

 

They weaved their way through the first set of trees, breathing deeply as they concentrated on not tripping over various tree stumps. There were a few people jogging behind them, the other group of people well in front as they focused on their own pace. The fresh air battled its way inside Ashton’s lungs, his body more accustomed to the inhale of cigarette smoke than clean air, his chest wheezing with every breath he took. He admired the scene around them, the trees and grassy spaces being something he rarely saw on the estate – concrete and smashed glass was something he was used to, not greenery.

“Are you going to Spike Island next week, for the Roses gig?” Luke questioned, slightly out of breath but also keen to talk to the other boy. They both groaned slightly as they stood in a deep ridge of mud, their trainers and white socks covered in the filthy sludge and splashing up their legs.

“Nah, didn’t manage to get tickets” Ashton eventually replied, wrinkling his nose and shrugging his shoulders slightly as though to say _‘no big deal’_ , despite the fact he was actually devastated.

“Neither, fucking sucks” Luke uttered back, sparing a glance at the other boy; “Doesn’t help that the tickets cost a fortune either, my parents would’ve murdered me if I’d managed to get one.”

“I know right!? How can they be from Manchester and forget the fact that we barely have enough money for a pack of cigs, never mind a ticket that costs half my mums wage?” Ashton exclaimed, both of them laughing gently knowing that money was scarce in a place like this.

Ashton felt remarkably comfortable talking to Luke despite the fact that they had only spoken infrequently on the football pitch over the years. He couldn’t help but notice that the other boys cheeks were tinted a gentle shade of pink and the tip of his nose almost red with how cold the autumn air was, his lanky body seemingly uncoordinated as he jogged through the tree-lined paths. He felt himself glancing at the boy out of the corner of his eye more than was necessary, checking that he wasn’t too out of breath so that they could maintain a conversation, watching how his chest heaved with his fairly laboured breathing.

 

 

“Do you ever go to The Bridge, y’know, the bar near the park on Litchfield?” Ashton wheezed out when their previous conversation had started to drift off, Luke having explained to Ashton exactly why he preferred roll-up cigarettes to a pack of straights.

“Sometimes” Luke replied, wiping his nose on the back of his long-sleeved football shirt; “We tend to just drink in my dad’s garage if I’m honest, means we can listen to good music rather than the shitty band that plays there.”

Ashton laughed in response, knowing _full well_ that the bands that play there are generally awful – nothing like The Velvet Underground or Iggy Pop.

“You should come down on Saturday night and bring some mates; my brother’s band is playing. They’re not shitty, proper good stuff I swear” Ashton chuckled, knowing that his brother had pleaded with him to invite anyone from his college – he wanted a good turnout for their first live performance.

“Yeah man, sounds ace” Luke agreed, nodding in response; “But if you’re lying and they’re shit, you have to give me your sick Sex Pistols shirt, the one you wore the other week?” he continued, a smirk now plastered on his face as he nudged Ashton’s shoulder with his own.

 “Fine, you’ve got a deal” Ashton stated, putting his hand out and waiting for Luke to shake it as a form of agreement. The two boys smiled at each other as their hands met, Ashton’s large fingers wrapping around the pale hand of the other boys and squeezing gently (almost affectionately if he was honest).

The two of them held a form of eye contact that they didn’t really understand as they subconsciously stopped running. It was dangerous and risky, especially if someone were to see them. It felt as if the feelings burning within them were trying to break out in a single stare, the little voices inside them saying that they shouldn’t look at another boy this way, it was _wrong_ to think like this. Confusion filtered through Ashton’s body as he began to feel drawn towards the blue irises of the tall boy, shaking his head and breaking their joint gaze as a blush graced both of their cheeks.

Neither of them said anything as they started to run once again, perhaps a little bit faster this time so that conversing wasn’t really an option. They had both felt something as they looked at one another – something they couldn’t really decipher, something they didn’t want to admit – and it might have scared them; just a _little_ bit.

 

*

Ashton was never one to think about what he was going to wear, especially when he was just going to watch his brother’s band down the road. He was currently stood in the cluttered mess of his bedroom; various band posters plastered to the damp-infested walls and half-filled coffee mugs lining his desk – he should really take those downstairs, actually. He had scoured through his various band shirts, deciding that seeing as he didn’t really know what bands Luke liked he could maybe start a conversation with one of his t-shirts.

Luke. Why the _fuck_ was he thinking about Luke?

He’d seen the blonde boy more times at college in the past few days than he had in the past year, or maybe he was just noting his presence unlike the other times they had briefly encountered. Every time he saw the other boy he felt _guilty_ and he didn’t understand why – it could have been the fact that his heart fluttered a little bit when he noticed that Luke chews his lower lip when he’s listening to his friends, or the fact that he found himself admiring his broad shoulders when he was sat behind him in the lunch hall.

He began to grow angry with himself, calling up Calum the other day and insisting that the two of them pass a football between them at the park. He couldn’t even play football without being reminded of when Luke complimented his two-footed skills, rage coursing through his body once again and meaning that he might have kicked the ball a bit _too_ hard into Calum’s chest (resulting in a punch to the jaw).

He wanted to see Luke; he wanted to talk to him and _learn_ him and that was possibly the most pathetic thought he had ever had but _god_ _dammit_ , it was true. Ashton was confused and he was hurting, but most of all he wanted to see things clearly; wanted to understand why his stolen magazine full of perky breasts was suddenly doing nothing to satisfy his needs.

Why couldn’t he stop thinking about him?

 

His train of thought was lost when he heard a harsh bang on their front door indicating that his friends were here. Bounding down the stairs he was welcomed with the sight of his two best friends, both of them leaning against the frame of their front door as they smirked at the curly-haired boy.

“Orite ladies” Ashton smirked, ruffling the hair of his two friends and earning a groan in response. He really wished Michael didn’t put so much gel in his hair; his hand felt as though he’d smothered it in cooking oil.

“How are you always late?” Calum complained, beginning to roll a cigarette as they walked out of Ashton’s house onto the concrete plains of their road.

“Looking this good takes time, my friend” he responded, the other two rolling their eyes as Ashton flicked the flame of his lighter on and off.

“I invited Rachel and her mates, hope you don’t mind” Michael chartered, snatching Calum’s cigarette from between his fingers and lighting it up for himself.

“Fuck sake, Mike, I don’t wanna have to speak to her after the other night” Ashton groaned, running his hands through his ludicrous curls; “She gave me the shittest blowjob I’ve ever received.”

The other two boys laughed in response, knowing full well that she was known around college for using a bit too much teeth. Gross.

“ _You_ don’t have to speak to her. I’m the one who’s trying to fuck her” Michael continued, Calum making slight gagging noises in the background as Ashton rolled his eyes – they both knew that Michael had been running after her for months now, despite the fact that half of their college had fooled around with her.

“You’ll regret it if sleeping with her is anything like having her suck your dick” Ashton grumbled, slinging his arm around Calum’s shoulder as the other boy hummed in response.

“Maybe you should try going for a girl who, I don’t know, hasn’t slept with the _entire_ rugby team?” Calum muttered, wanting at least a reasonable girl for his best friend to lose his virginity to.

“Fuck off, Hood, you big sap” Michael snapped, trying to tease Calum for his pathetically romantic approach towards women (it wasn’t particularly romantic, just respectful, from Calum’s point of view.)

“How about you two stop bickering and we go inside, I’m gagging for a pint” Ashton pleaded, taking the half smoked cigarette from between Michael’s lips and dropping it to the floor as they strolled towards the open door of the bar, music and people already filtering in and out.

 

 

The bar was full of locals, most of them people they had known since they were young boys seeing as everyone stuck together in place like this. The dark brown tables were scattered around the carpeted room and full of people Ashton’s dad’s age; drinking beer as though they were absolutely parched. Ashton could see his brother’s band preparing their instruments on the other side of the room, their stage being non-existent as they placed all their kit on the carpeted ground. He gave a light wave to show his brother he was here, earning a middle finger and a wink in response.

“I’m gonna get a drink, do you two want anything?” Ashton asked, watching the other two boys get comfortable at one of the tables situated in the darkest corner of the room – they could roll joints here without drawing too much attention, not that anyone around here would care.

“Nah mate, not yet. Gonna take a pill first, get this night started properly” Michael winked, pulling a small plastic bag out of his pocket containing three pink pills; “There’s one for you too if you want it a bit later.”

“Thanks but no thanks, got a training day at work tomorrow so I probably shouldn’t turn up high as a kite” he laughed, the other two boys smirking at the fact that Ashton was probably going to have to stay relatively sober for the entire night.

“Oh yeah, training you in how to make a bouquet of fucking flowers” Calum joked, laughing almost hysterically at the thought of Ashton shoving roses into bags for old women at the florist stall in the market; “You’re such a queer.”

“You won’t be calling me queer when I have money for gig tickets and you two have spent all of yours on shitty pills” Ashton retorted, the other two boys shrugging and flipping him off as they reached into the bag, desperate so start their night together.

“Arseholes” is all he muttered before stalking off to the bar and leaving his friends to indulge themselves in their illegal substances.

 

He spotted Luke as soon as he turned to get his drink, spying his tall frame, distinct green parka and dismembered quiff from a mile away. He was laughing at whatever the girl next to him was saying – she was probably a good three years older than them – and tapping his fingers somewhat nervously against the side of the glass in his hand.

He must have felt Ashton’s gaze as he turned his head almost immediately and allowed his eyes to fall upon the boy walking towards him. They both gave a brief smile as Ashton slid up next to him at the bar, leaving a good few inches between the two of them as he leant casually against the wooden counter. The various chatter and clinking of glasses around them was somewhat comforting and homely.

“Hey man, didn’t think you’d actually come” Ashton teased, nudging his elbow into the blonde’s ribs as Luke continued to smile at him softly.

“Wasn’t going to miss out on your brothers _incredible_ band” he joked back, his smile briefly becoming a smirk as he allowed his gaze to scan over the set features of Ashton’s face.

The girl on the other side of Luke muttered something into his ear as she ran her hand down the plane of his chest, the blonde’s cheeks flushing as she sultrily walked away, glancing back momentarily to wink.

“Check you Hemmings, pulling an older woman” Ashton continued to tease, ignoring the pit fall in his stomach and brushing the feeling off as a wave of nervousness (despite the fact that Ashton would _never_ be nervous in a place as familiar as this.)

“Oh, no way man; I’m not even remotely interested” Luke gushed, his cheeks remaining pink as he avoided Ashton’s gaze, fiddling with the ring on his little finger.

“She seems alright to me, looks clean enough” he joked, giving a small smile to the bartender who nodded in acknowledgement, knowing all too well that Ashton was beckoning him for his usual beer.

Luke shrugged in response, turning around so that he could lean back against the wooden counter of the bar on his elbows, angling his body so that he could see the band from where they were stood. The sleeves of his green parka smeared some of the remnants of people’s drinks as he listened to the band tuning their instruments, a rumble of encouragement coming from the people filling the small venue.

“Not really my type” he continued, turning his head to watch as Ashton settled against the bar in the same way he did, watching as the boy raised the drink and took a satisfied gulp.

“Neither really, I prefer a blonde” Ashton stated simply, unintentionally shuffling closer to Luke as he made himself comfortable on the ledge behind them, their shoulders and upper arms now pressed together. (Neither of them made an attempt to move away, despite the fact that personal space had been completely disregarded.)

“No, I do like a brunette, just not one like her I guess” Luke replied, an edge of nervousness to his voice as he took a sip of his lukewarm drink.

“Fair enough man, there’s plenty to choose from. Most of the girls round here will put out for a night if you buy them a pack of cigs” Ashton scoffed, turning his body so that one arm remained on the counter but the rest of his body free so that he could angle himself towards Luke.

“I think my taste might be a bit too peculiar” the blonde muttered, his gaze landing on Ashton’s face as he glanced beside him. Ashton noticed that the boy’s sharp cheekbones were graced with a light pink and his eyes almost nervous, fluttering around the room and not resting on the him for very long.

“Then that’s alright too” Ashton shrugged, turning around again as he heard his brother introducing their band, the crackle of the shitty microphone causing people to wince; “Nothing wrong with being fussy. Means you’ll only get the best” he continued, having to raise his voice slightly as the first guitar chords rang out.

“Depends if you can ever get the one you want though, doesn’t it?” Luke raised back, turning his head and placing his mouth beside Ashton’s ear so that he would hear him over the racket of the band.

The two of them would pretend to ignore the obvious shiver that ran down Ashton’s spine.

 

 

Before long, all the young people in the club were intoxicated and dancing around wildly as the band continued to play, Michael and Calum clearly enjoying themselves in their high state. Michael was certainly having a good time as the blonde that approached Luke earlier was allowing him to drape himself over her shoulders and whisper filth into her ear, Calum pumping his hands in the air as he puffed on a joint between his lips.

Ashton had remained with Luke and the friends that he had brought, talking about music and the party that they were trying to get Luke to hold next weekend when his parents were out of town. The blonde didn’t seem too impressed with their suggestion, rolling his eyes and muttering something about wanting to sleep the whole time they were gone.

“I’m gonna let you off, the band is really good” Luke admitted into Ashton’s ear again, turning their conversation private rather than as a group discussion.

“Seems like I’m gonna keep my Pistols shirt then, doesn’t it?” Ashton smirked, winking as the two of them remembered the pact from earlier that week.

“Ah fuck. I should’ve lied and said they were shit” Luke joked, chewing briefly on his bottom lip as Ashton nodded his head in response, the two of them taking a gulp of their third drink.

“Yep, you should’ve done” he agreed, clearing his throat after downing some liquid; “You can have it though if you want, like, it’s a bit big for me and you’re broader so it might fit you better” he continued, immediately flushing pink and internally scolding himself for being so blatant in his tipsy state.

“Are you serious?” Luke asked hopefully, turning so that the two of them were completely facing one another; “You can have one of mine in return though, like a trade.”

“Yeah, ‘course I’m serious you dickhead” Ashton teased, chuckling and lightly punching the blonde’s shoulder; “But a trade would be sick, I’m always up for a new shirt” he continued, fluttering his gaze up so that the two of them were looking at one another, their eyes meeting and a warm feeling spreading over his body at how affectionately Luke was looking at him.

“You’ve got another deal, Irwin. Come round to mine next weekend and you can choose one. We could hang out too, if you want – I mean you don’t have to, it’s just you seem cool and it’s been a few years since we’ve like, spoken properly and all that” Luke rushed out, immediately turning defensive when he realised that the invitation to spend time together might have seemed a little too keen.

“Yeah, that’d be awesome, Luke” Ashton replied instantly, knowing that he had comforted the boy as Luke seemed to visibly relax in front of him.

 

The two of them were drawn from their discussion as Calum slung his arm around Ashton’s shoulder, his eyes heavy and hair in a sweaty mess upon his head due to his constant physical activity all evening.

“Ash, my old buddy old pal” he slurred, patting the honey-haired boys locks and allowing his gaze to settle on Luke; “Hemmings, you sly bastard, come ‘ere it’s been too long man” he continued, drawing the blonde boy in for an uncoordinated hug. The two boys used to play football together for their local team before Calum had to drop out with a knee injury – they had been extremely close throughout their brief sporting escapade.

“Hey Cal, nice to see you” Luke wheezed out as the other boy held him in a bone-crushing embrace, Ashton laughing almost hysterically at Luke’s pained face.

“Let him go, mate, he’s gonna run out of air soon” Ashton pried a beaming Calum away, the three of them smiling warmly at the comforting feeling settling between the three of them.

“I didn’t know you were here!” Calum exasperated, throwing his hands up in the air and shaking his head slightly, a few beads of sweat trickling down his clammy skin.

“Well, you’ve been off your face for a good few hours, so I won’t take it personally” Luke joked, both him and Ashton reaching out to stable the dark-haired boy as he began to lose his balance in his delusional state; “I think we should take you home mate, you can barely stand up.”

“I’ll take him” Ashton immediately interjected, wanting Luke to stay with his friends and continue to have a good night rather than drag his old friend down the road; “You stay here and get trashed, I should head home soon anyways - gotta be up early for work tomorrow.”

 

He began to heave one of Calum’s arms around his neck to stabilise the two of them, feeling his sweaty body mould itself into his in an attempt to remain upright. Luke sprung forward to take the empty glass from Ashton’s hand and place it on the counter beside them, allowing his hand to linger on top of the other boys for far longer than was necessary.

Once again they felt that burning sensation run through their body as their fingers met for a good few seconds, time seeming to slow so much that Ashton felt like he was locked in with just Luke beside him. But again, they both pulled away as though they had been scolded with boiling water; as though the other boy was something sinful that they should avoid.

“Look after him, Ash, and yourself” Luke coughed out, drawing the two of them from their momentary daze; “I’ll see you around college and we can talk about next weekend, yeah?”

“Yeah, that’d be great, have a good night Luke” Ashton replied as he began to drag him and the other boy away, Calum giving Luke a brief lopsided smile and half-hearted wave as a farewell gesture, the other boy laughing in response.

Luke watched Ashton all the way until he had walked out of the main door of the bar, the other boy occasionally glancing over his shoulder to sneak a look at him. The adults in the place had no idea what was going on - _Ashton and Luke_ had no idea what was going on. They were creeping further into a dangerous territory; a territory where every lingering glance burned and every moment away from one another felt as though they were in a pit of ice. The only way to discover what they felt was to let the fire within them meet – but what size flame would erupt from these forbidden feelings?

 

*

College flew by the next week, Ashton’s days mainly consisting of yawning and pretending to write notes down in class when all he was really thinking about was how much he needed another cigarette. His evenings were also fairly hectic; a mixture of helping his brothers down at the local garage and playing his guitar with Calum being more than enough to occupy his time.

Saturday came around before he knew it, his evening with Luke being something he was ridiculously excited for all day at the florist.

 

“What’s got you so happy, kid?” Mrs. James, the owner of the flower stall asked him; “You’ve been smiling like an idiot all morning!”

“Oh it’s nothing. Just got some plans for tonight” he brushed her off, taking some tulips and placing them in a vase of water.

“They must be some pretty good plans. You haven’t sworn at any costumers all day – I’m impressed” she kidded him, ruffing his hair as he continued to arrange the various flowers; “The girl will be glad to see you in such a good mood.”

Ashton blushed at the comment of a girl, turning away so that she couldn’t see his flustered face; “Oh, um, I’m just going to a mate’s house, his parents are away.”

“Oh I see. Gonna get some drinks in and have a bit of a hang out? Sounds lovely” she replied casually, oblivious to the fact that the boy was fairly flustered and stuttered his reply.

“Yeah, yeah, something like that” he muttered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his new Nike sweatshirt; “Am I actually okay to finish early? I’ve done everything I needed to do – I think.”

Mrs. James walked over to the cash register and unlocked it, reaching in and pulling out a five pound note before shoving it into Ashton’s clammy palm.

“You’ve been great today, Irwin. Take this as a bit of a tip and get yourself something nice to take to this lads house tonight, I’m sure he’ll appreciate it” she beamed, her pale face wrinkling further when she smiled at him, patting the side of his face gently; “Go on, get your ugly mug out of here before I change my mind” she followed up with, sneaking him a quick wink.

“Thanks, I’m sure he will” Ashton thanked her, shoving the money into his pocket and removing his green apron, grabbing his bag and preparing to leave.

“And don’t you dare think about spending it on more cigarettes! It’s a filthy habit” she scolded him, pointing her manicured finger at him as he smirked at her, beginning to walk away.

“Can’t promise anything!” she shouted back as he began to run through the market stalls, hearing her laugh in the distance as he submerged himself in the sea of people desperate to find a bargain at one of the shops.

 

Ashton bought two packs of stale cigarettes that were on offer from the corner store on his way home.

 

*

“Hemmings, as in that nice blonde boy down the road?” his mother asked as she began to plate up their evening meal – beans on toast, something that would _not_ make Gordon Ramsey jealous.

“Yeah, we’re just gonna hang out, Cal and Mikey might come round for a bit” he lied, despite the fact that his mother wouldn’t mind if it was just the two of them.

“And will you be staying there, or do I need to leave the front door unlocked? I don’t want to leave it if you’re not going to be coming back” she asked, placing their food on the wobbly table and sitting down opposite him. A cold breeze filtered through the room due to the smashed window in their kitchen creating a constant draft – something that Ashton cursed during the winter.

“I’m not sure, to be honest” he spoke, his voice muffled due to the food in his mouth; “I’ll probably stay there, it’s just easier.”

“Okay, but you’ve got to promise me that you will actually stay; you know I don’t like you wandering around here at night. It’s dangerous, sweetheart” she worried, taking a sip of her water as she waited for Ashton to respond and reassure her that he would cooperate.

“I promise. I don’t wanna’ get stabbed either mum” he stated the obvious, earning a kick from her under the table.

They ate the rest of their small meal in relative silence, both of them preoccupied with their own thoughts and plans to indulge in too much conversation. Their Rottweiler ‘Maxie’  was curled up in front of the back door and occasionally begged Ashton for food (with little success – he wasn’t going to share when he was this hungry).

After finishing their food Ashton offered to wash the dishes, his mother extremely grateful as it meant she could get changed to go and play Bingo at the local bar – the one Ashton was at the previous week. He was mid-way through rinsing the soapy plates when he heard a delicate knock on the door, indicating that Luke was here.

He knew he shouldn’t be nervous, but that didn’t stop his heart from fluttering and his stomach churning in anticipation. He double checked his outfit to make sure there were no stains on his white sweatshirt and that his jeans were not too tight – god, he _fears_ the day skinny jeans become fashionable again.

 

Unlocking the door he was greeted with the nervous smile of Luke, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his signature green parka as he whipped his head round at the sound of the door opening.

“Hey, I hope I’m not too early – I know I said I’d be here for eight but I got a different bus and-ˮ

“It’s fine, Luke, I’m ready anyway” Ashton interrupted the stammering boy, Luke’s nervous smile intensifying as he dropped his gaze to the ground; “Just let me grab my bag and I’m good to go.”

“Yeah, no worries” Luke mumbled, toying with the lighter in the pocket of his jacket; “Don’t forget your vinyl’s, they’re the main event tonight” he shouted after him as Ashton bounded up the stairs to collect his duffel bag.

“There was no way I’d forget these bad-boys” Ashton teased, shoving his records in Luke’s face before putting them away; “See ya’ mum!” he shouted, hearing her give a feeble ‘ _bye, love’_ in response.

*

 

“You do realise I remember exactly where you live? You didn’t need to pick me up” Ashton told Luke as the other boy closed the front door of his house, the two of them stood in the hideously wallpapered hallway.

“That sounds so fucking creepy considering we’ve not hung out together in years” Luke jeered, leading Ashton down the corridor and through the door into the converted garage. The smell of weed hit them as soon as they entered the room, the various grinders and papers scattered around the room indicated that Luke and his friends used this room as a bit of drugs den.

“Sorry about the smell” the blonde chuckled, beginning to tidy the various things away; “Richard seems to think that the rule of ‘no drugs in the house’ doesn’t apply when he’s in my garage” he continued, Ashton taking it upon himself to browse the few battered guitars that were sprawled across the various seats.

“It’s fine. I probably smell like it anyway” Ashton joked back as he slumped into the haggard leather sofa in the corner; “Fuck me, this place is _sweet_ , Hemmings.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty sick. I basically live in here if I’m honest” Luke responded as he stalked towards the turntable at the opposite side of the room; “What more do you need than music, somewhere to sit, and friends to get high with?” he continued, and Ashton hummed in complete agreement.

“What record are you putting on?” Ashton enquired, pulling himself from where he was sat and padding across the stained carpet to stand beside Luke; “Ah, nice one. I fucking love The Police”

“I’m glad you do, most of my mates take the piss out of me for liking them” Luke said as he turned to look at Ashton and flash him a smile, placing the needle on the record.

“They obviously have shit music taste then ‘cause they’re one of the best bands ever – no exaggeration” Ashton said matter-of-factly, raising his hands to emphasise his point.

“They’ve got such a raw sound. That’s something that’s so unique with music nowadays” Luke continued, tapping Ashton’s shoulder to draw his attention towards the cheap ciders on a table near to them; “Help yourself – and you can smoke cigs in here if you want, my parents won’t mind.”

“Thanks, you want one?” Ashton said as he grabbed one for himself, quickly popping the seal and taking a sip before sighing contently at the cool liquid.

“Yeah, chuck one over will ya?” Luke called from where he had sat himself down on the sofa, easily catching a can when it was thrown to him; “Could you pass me my ‘baccy and rolling stuff too? I’m dying for a cig.”

 

Ashton collected the tin with Luke’s things in before walking across to sit next to him, their knees bumping together as they settled into the tattered leather. Luke pouted slightly in concentration as he rolled, patting the tobacco in place with his index finger as Ashton watched intently (he would try to say he was watching Luke’s rolling skills – but he was just watching the boy).

“Where’s your sister at these days? Haven’t seen her around for god knows how long” Ashton asked inquisitively as he considered the fact that he hadn’t seen Rosie for quite a while now.

“She moved out after she got knocked up with heroin-Ricky’s kid about a year ago” Luke said as though it was nothing, which would be true – teenage pregnancies were rife in an area like this; “That’s why my parents are away. They’ve gone to visit her.”

“Fuck – I didn’t even know” Ashton said in a bit of a daze, processing the news.

“ _We_ didn’t until she couldn’t pretend she’d just put on weight anymore” Luke chuckled, licking the paper of his cigarette and twisting it between his fingertips to smooth it out; “Mum was fucking _livid_ when she found out.”

“I bet she was, jeez” the other boy breathed, shaking his head before leaning his head the back on the sofa and watching as Luke lit up; “Bet she gave you a lecture about using condoms too, didn’t she?” he continued, smirking as the blonde nodding in response.

“I don’t think she needs to worry. I won’t ever be having a kid” Luke said, a hesitative edge to his voice as he followed Ashton’s previous action of leaning against the back of the sofa.

“What, have you taken a vow of celibacy or something, Hemmings?” Ashton teased, nudging his shoulder against the blonde who was sat with his side pressed against him.

“Might as well have” Luke muttered, shakily inhaling his cigarette; “It’s complicated, Ash.”

 

There was a tense atmosphere surrounding them – not uncomfortable, just hesitant. Ashton knew what Luke was trying to say; something that he _can’t_ say because that would make it _too real_. By not saying what he was it almost made it seem like he could pretend it wasn’t the truth, as though it wasn’t who he really was. They both knew because they’d both felt the lingering glances and the increased attention to detail when it came to the other boy, but it was so much easier to pretend it wasn’t there.

Except the fact that it _wasn’t_ easy – it was _so damn hard_. How could they sit there with no one in the house and ignore the want they have for the other boy, the need to do something – _anything_ at all that could mean that they were closer together? Ashton wanted Luke and Luke wanted him, but it was wrong; what they had would be wrong.

“I know it is” Ashton said in response, unsure of how to word things; “I know how you feel Luke.”

“You don’t know how I feel” Luke whispered, stubbing his cigarette out on the dark leather of the sofa; “You sleep with girls all the time but I _can’t_ do that Ash. It’d be a lie.”

“Since when did sleeping with girls mean I can’t like you?” Ashton snapped, turning so that he was facing the blonde; “Luke, you’re right, I don’t know how you feel, but I know how I feel and it’s scaring me shitless” he continued, his eyes boring into Luke’s closed ones, silently pleading with him.

“It’s wrong, Ash. What we want – liking guys isn’t right” Luke pleaded, opening his eyes and raising his head slowly, finally turning and allowing his gaze to meet the other boys, his eyes watery and making Ashton’s heart fucking _break_.

 

Before he knew it he was placing his hand lightly on top of Luke’s thigh and closing his eyes, allowing himself to gravitate closer as his heart began to race, his mind telling him to stop before he ruined their rekindled friendship.

But he didn’t want Luke as a friend.

Luke’s eyes fluttered shut as Ashton moved into his personal space, his hand sliding up the side of his thigh as his face slowly approached Luke’s flushed neck. He could smell Ashton’s cheap cologne mixed with the engrained stench of tobacco from his constant habit – a smell that ignited a flame within him.

 

“I don’t like guys, Luke” Ashton whispered tentatively against the blonde’s pulsing throat.

“But you like me?” the younger boy muttered back, his heart pounding in his chest and his eyes slipping closed in anticipation.

“Yes, I like you a lot” he cooed before placing his lips firmly on the pale stretch of skin, parting his lips slightly to enable him to suck and draw blood to the surface; “You’re everything I want but can’t fucking have.”

Ashton knew he was putting his entire life on the line by allowing himself to admit that – by putting them both in a situation where the option was open for Luke to take – but he would risk everything to _finally_ understand how he feels, to be with someone so forbidden.

“You can have me” Luke keened brokenly, his voice faltering as the other boy began to press kisses with more determination; “I don’t give a fuck anymore, Ashton. I can hide who I am from the world but I can’t hide it from you.”

“You don’t have to hide from me” Ashton reassured him, his heart racing with fear of the unknown from the territory they were entering; “We’re in this mess together.”

Ashton drew himself from the conspicuous marks on Luke’s neck to press his lips against Luke’s trembling ones, their eyes slipping shut once again as they caved into their every desire.

He had never believed the bullshit novels that say you feel fireworks when you kiss the right person – he’d never even felt fireworks when Chelsea Sanders had let him _fuck_ her. But he didn’t just feel fireworks when Luke parted his lips and allowed Ashton’s inquisitive tongue to slide into the wet cavern of his mouth; he felt like he could see the entire _universe_ behind the dark lids of his eyes.

He began to feel a warmth bubble over the surface of his skin when Luke whimpered and wound one of his hands into the curls of his hair, his stomach tightening as he began to guide the other boy so that he was laid down and settled himself between his slim legs.

“Please tell me you feel it too” he wheezed against Luke’s swollen lips upon breaking away for air; “Tell me this is right; that what we’re doing is right.”

“I feel it, I fucking feel it” Luke gasped, a caress escaping him when Ashton pressed feather-light kisses to the closed lids of his eyes; “I can’t tell you it’s right when it’s not but promise me you won’t leave. Not now, Ashton, it’d kill me.”

“I’m not leaving” he whispered, allowing his hips to gently drop down so that he was no longer holding his own weight and their bodies were pressed together; “I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

 

“Kiss me – just fucking kiss me” the blonde pleaded, opening his eyes briefly to stare into Ashton’s own before dropping them closed again as their lips met with a desperate ferocity.

There was no holding back this time, the two of them completely immersing themselves in the feel of one another whilst there was no one around to see them. Ashton took control of the kiss almost instantly – he also quite liked the fact that Luke let him – and allowed his tongue to explore the inner surfaces of Luke’s mouth. The breathy whines from the blonde boy were more than enough encouragement for him to continue.

“Don’t hold back” Ashton encouraged, sucking on Luke’s lower lip; “You’re okay, I’ve got you.”

“Fuck” Luke gasped in response, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as Ashton aligned his hips and applied more pressure; “I can’t even think straight if you keep doing shit like that.”

“When can you ever think straight? You’re gay as fuck” Ashton humoured him, earning a breathy chuckle in response to his cheesy pun; “But so am I, so I think we’re gonna be okay” he continued, allowing his hand to caress the smooth skin of Luke’s hip where his shirt had ridden up.

“This wasn’t why I invited you round, by the way. I do just like hanging out with you” Luke muttered as Ashton began to crawl down his body; “But this – fuck, this is also pretty great.”

 

“Let me know if you want me to stop” Ashton cooed against his lower stomach, his large fingers inching up the thin fabric of Luke’s ‘Bon Jovi’ shirt.

Luke nodded in response, their brief moment of eye contact reassuring the other boy that he was _completely_ okay with where this was heading – even if the rest of the world thought it was wrong. “I’m okay with this as long as you are” the blonde whispered, his hand gently carding through Ashton’s curls as he dropped his head against the arm of the couch; “As long as all of this isn’t some cruel joke.”

“Do you really think I’d suck your dick for a joke and risk being beaten up by every kid within a three mile radius?” Ashton grumbled, rolling his eyes despite his stomach swirling with nervous energy; “None of this is a joke, Luke. Our fucking lives are on the line here.”

Ashton didn’t even need to voice that fact – they both knew it was true. A boy liking another boy wasn’t just wrong; it was something that could ruin their entire future if somebody found out. But that couldn’t stop them feeling whatever _this_ was between them.

Ashton frequently glanced up to gauge the reaction on Luke’s face, to let their eyes meet briefly and double check that what he was doing was okay. He was pleased to find anticipation in the other boy’s eyes, not nerves. It was almost as though he had accepted that this was what he wanted; what he _needed_.

“I trust you” were the only words Ashton needed to hear.

 

He didn’t waste any time before pressing kisses to the warm flesh of the blondes lower stomach; the thin trail of hairs leading further south tickling his plump lips. He didn’t fail to notice the hitch in Luke’s breathing as his fingers tugged on the waist of his blue jeans, teasingly revealing more of the boy’s skin.

“I fucking knew you’d be like this” Luke groaned from above him, taking it upon himself to lean up and remove his shirt, throwing it aimlessly onto the carpet. Ashton simply rolled his eyes and pressed his fingertips a little harsher onto Luke’s hips.

“I also knew you’d be a needy bastard” Ashton remarked back, finally popping the button and pulling down the zipper on Luke’s jeans. Luke breathed a sigh of relief as the other boy tugged the jeans off and disregarded them on the floor.

Before he could make a move towards the growing bulge in the blonde’s briefs, Luke pushed him so that he was sat against the back of the sofa again and crawled into his lap, immediately latching his lips onto Ashton’s in a fiery kiss. Luke seemed satisfied with the breathy moan Ashton released when he ran his short nails down his chest through his shirt, grasping the hem and tugging to indicate that he wanted it off.

“Better than being with a girl?” Luke teased when they broke away from the kiss and Ashton latched his lips onto the taut skin of his jaw.

“Better than being with _anyone_ ” Ashton shut him up, grasping his face between his palms and bringing their swollen lips back together; “You do realise I can’t suck you off if you’re on top of me, right?”

“I don’t care what you do” Luke grumbled as he desperately unfastened the other boys jeans and tugged them down his thighs; “Just fucking touch me.”

And who was Ashton to refuse such a wonderful request? He slipped his hands under the waistband of Luke’s briefs and massaged the firm flesh of his ass, groaning inside the blonde’s mouth when he pulled the two of them closer together and their crotches brushed through the thin layers of fabric.

 

Their indulgent moment was short-lived as they heard the tell-tale-signs of people outside the garage; the laughs of Luke’s friends echoing and startling the two of them, their actions stilling and blood running cold.

“Fucking shit” Luke whined, jumping from Ashton’s lap and shakily scouring the ground for his clothes; “I didn’t invite them, I swear to god I didn’t” he whispered as he hopped on one leg, attempting to conceal the growing erection under the waistband of his jeans.

“It’s okay, I’ll go out the back door” Ashton whispered back, his voice wobbling with fear as he pulled his shirt over his flustered face.

The reality of their situation had come crashing over them; the fact that what they were doing was completely despicable in the eyes of other people. They _knew_ it should feel wrong – grinding up against another boy with barely any clothes on – but god dammit it felt _so fucking right_.

“I’m so sorry” Luke apologised as he grasped Ashton’s hand and weaved their way through the downstairs of his house as he heard his friends knock on the front door, his heart racing just a little bit faster than it already was. He unlocked the door and allowed Ashton to step out, the other boy pausing briefly on the other side of the doorway.

“Don’t be sorry. You gave me more than I could’ve asked for” Ashton admitted, hesitantly squeezing the clammy flesh of Luke’s hand; “I’ll see you soon though, yeah?” he enquired nervously as they both heard Luke’s friends now slamming their fists against the other door.

“Yeah, yeah – fuck, of course” Luke stammered, his heart thumping as Ashton pressed a brief kiss to the corner of his mouth before beginning to walk away.

“Wait!” Luke whispered harshly, spinning on his heels and grabbing something from behind him in the kitchen and shoving it into the palm of Ashton’s hand; “Take this.”

Ashton looked down to see a tape in his hand – a _mixtape_ to be exact, with Luke’s sprawled handwriting on the front of the cassette case. Ashton didn’t need to ask what it was, understanding completely when he read the words _‘Ashton, this will always be yours, just like me x’_.

“Thank you” Ashton hummed before kissing Luke’s cheek affectionately; “I’ll listen to it as soon as I get home, I promise” he whispered before turning and jogging through the long grass, looking back with a fleeting smile as he pulled himself over the back wall and into the lingering darkness.

 

*

“You told me you were staying out, Ashton” his mum hissed as she unlocked the door in her dressing gown and slippers.

“Yeah, well plans fucking changed” he growled as he attempted to sneak past her and up to his room without indulging in any further conversation.

“Don’t swear at your mother” his dad scolded from the kitchen table, not even looking up from the newspaper he was ready at…one in the morning? Ashton simply rolled his eyes in response, shrugging off his jacket and abandoning it on the kitchen counter before trying to leave the room.

“What’s that, Ash?” his mum asked inquisitively, grabbing his wrist softly to stop him in his tracks and look at the faint purple mark on his neck. Fuck – the mark that _Luke_ had left.

Ashton’s felt seemed to swell as he fought for words to say. “Um, just got in a bit of a fight – nothing major, just a bit of a disagreement” he attempted to defend himself, knowing full well that his mother was now thoroughly examining the burst blood vessels as she brushed her thumb over it. She didn’t say anything in response; simply dropping his wrist from her grasp and lightly squeezing the tips of his fingers before moving away from him to pick up his abandoned jacket.

“That’s my lad” his dad stated proudly, _still_ not removing his gaze from the paper; “At least I know you’re not a fucking puff” he scoffed, his ignorance seeping through his every words. Ashton winced at the statement, secretly hoping that his mother hadn’t clocked his tense response to his father’s words.

“Yeah, at least there’s no chance of that” Ashton mumbled before fleeing the vicinity of the room, his blood ringing in his ears and water pooling in his eyes as he took in a shaky breath.

 

*

He barely saw Luke over the next few weeks; the faintest bit of communication being a fleeting smile in the corridor at college or a brief brush of hands when there was a large group of people. It had been almost a month before he finally got to have a proper conversation with him – something that was longer than ten polite words.

Ashton had managed to ‘borrow’ his brothers car for the evening, telling Owen that he wanted to get some practice before his driving test next month in which he was told that he would be ‘ _fucking dead’_ if there was even the faintest mark on the black paintwork. Luckily they had gym today so he was able to whisper to Luke during warm-up that he should stay behind at the end of the day; ‘ _meet round the back of the gym’_ being what he had requested.

 

It was now fifteen minutes since the final bell had rung indicating that they were able to finish for the day, all of the students quickly vacating the building due to it being the _last_ place they wanted to spend their free time. Ashton waited nervously as he leaned against the rough bricks – had Luke stood him up? Had he forgotten?

His worries were supressed when he saw the blonde boy jog round the corner, clinging onto his messenger bag as he double-checked that no one had followed him. Neither of them could hold back the relieved grin they gave when their eyes met, Ashton dropping his half-finished cigarette to the floor.

“Took your time” Ashton teased, wrapping his hands around Luke’s wrists and pulling him so that they were flush against one another; “You need a fucking haircut by the way.”

“Don’t get too touchy. Anyone could see, you bastard” Luke worried, earning an eye-roll from Ashton as he dropped the blonde’s wrists.

“I know, I know” the other boy sighed, running his hand over the side of his face; “I’ve got Owen’s car, so I was thinking we could maybe drive to the old quarry and hang out there – nobody’ll see us” he continued, looking up into Luke’s eyes hopefully.

“Yeah, okay” Luke agreed, chewing on his bottom lip as he fought the urge to kiss the boy in front of him; “I have to be home by seven though.”

“I think we can work with that” Ashton smiled, tugging on the blonde’s sleeve to get him to follow him towards the car he had parked just down the road from their school.

 

 

They drove in a peaceful silence, the stereo playing the Stone Roses tape that Luke had rummaged out from his bag. They snuck glances at one another whenever possible, their eyes meeting and butterflies erupting in their stomachs as they released gentle laughs. Ashton also let his hand rest on Luke’s thigh; Luke more than happily placing his hand over the other boy’s and caressing the top of it with his thumb, the small gesture meaning so much to them.

“I’m sorry it took us this long, I mean, it was hard enough trying to _talk_ to you at college, let alone plan something like this” Ashton apologised, Luke shaking his head slowly with a delicate smile on his face.

“It’s not your fault. I think we both knew it was going to be a while” he reassured, admiring the open stretch of road they were finally on, raising their linked hands and kissing the back of Ashton’s palm; “You’re worth waiting for.”

“Shut up, you fucking sap” Ashton teased, earning a low laugh from Luke in response.

The silence they fell into was peaceful and reflective, the two of them enjoying the fact that they could even do something as simple as _hold hands_. Luke thought that Ashton was at his most beautiful when he was allowed to be in his own head – when he was watching the empty road in front of them as the sun was slowly beginning to set, an orange glow casting over them. It was all so serine; nothing like the rows of terraced houses and streams of trash on the streets that they lived on. There was a sense of _freedom_ when it was just the two of them.

 

They soon pulled to a stop at the old quarry, pulling up between two large piles of coal and looking down over the abandoned pit. The sky was now a warming amber colour, a few shadows casting from the scarce trees situated in the open space.

“I haven’t been here in years” Luke pondered, the pit being a place the local children had often taken the bus to in order to play somewhere away from the estate; “Just as cool as I remember though.”

Ashton hummed in agreement, shutting the car engine off and slumping back in his seat; “Do you remember when Calum pushed Geordie down the hill on his eighth birthday? We had to take him to the hospital because he broke his arm” the two of them smiled as Luke nodded his head in knowing.

“Oh my god, his mum was so pissed off. He’d worn his new shirt and they couldn’t get it off because of the cast on his arm” Luke continued to laugh, the sound tingling Ashton’s skin. The two boys turned to each other as they reflected on the memory, warm smiles gracing their cheeks, Ashton’s eyes glistening in the low light of the evening.

“Calum’s always been an arsehole” Ashton sighed, smirking at the various occasions his friend had done stupid things.

“You can say that again! He punched me in the face during our first football game together because, quote, _you have a haircut like my grandma”_ Luke groaned, Ashton bursting into a fit of laughter.

“That’s fucking brilliant” Ashton muttered to himself, Luke turning his body in the passenger seat so that he could face the humoured boy.

“It wasn’t when my nose was bleeding!” Luke defended, eyes widening at the fact that Ashton found the situation so hilarious.

“But _babe_ , you did have a grandma haircut, you can’t deny that” Ashton continued, the affectionate pet name tumbling out before he could stop it and Luke’s heart silently swelling at the remark.

“I won’t defend the haircut, but I will defend the fact that he didn’t need to turn to violence over it!” Luke pouted as Ashton turned his body so that they were both facing one another over the small console, Ashton leaning forward so that one of hands rested on the side of Luke’s seat.

“Violence is never the answer” Ashton joked, Luke rolling his eyes as they both knew that violence was the _only_ answer living where they did. Ashton had slowly begun to move himself closer, his face mere inches from the other boy’s; “The Beatles would say it should be peace and love. I definitely prefer that approach when it comes to you” he continued, his lips ghosting over Luke’s as he spoke, the hairs standing on the back of Luke’s neck.

“Then why don’t you stop talking and show me?” Luke whispered, placing his left hand softly on Ashton’s lower back. Ashton merely hummed in response, closing his eyes and finally pressing their lips together.

 

It was just as good as the first time, if not better. Luke could feel a sense of desperation behind the kiss; the sense that Ashton _needed_ this between them and Luke was more than willing to kiss him back to life, allowing his lips to part and Ashton to slide his tongue against his in the filthiest of ways.

A groan ripped from deep within Ashton’s throat, the hand on Luke’s chair squeezing so tightly his knuckles were white as he pressed himself impossibly closer to the blonde. Luke pawed at Ashton’s ribs through his thick sweater, squeezing wherever he could and pressing his chest flush against his.

Luke whined as Ashton broke the kiss but the sound was soon cut off with a choked sigh as kisses were pressed against the column of his throat, Ashton occasionally allowing his teeth to graze the pale expanse of his skin. The curly-haired boy groaned when Luke tipped his head further back to expose more of his flesh, his hand tugging lightly on the strands of hair on the back of Ashton’s neck.

“Fuck – the back, can we go in the back?” Luke sighed out, Ashton immediately pulling from his neck and climbing through to the backseat, pushing the few bits of trash onto the floor as Luke pulled himself through soon after.

Ashton quickly backed Luke up against the fogging window, placing his thighs on either side of the blonde as he attached their lips once again, both of them keening at the contact.

“Don’t actually cut your hair by the way. I love it this length” Ashton complimented, Luke barely able to concentrate on what the boy was saying as he began to tug his own shirt off, Ashton’s hands soon skimming the expanse of his torso; “So beautiful” he hummed. Luke fought the blush on his cheeks as he began to pepper kisses down Ashton’s defined jaw, sucking at the skin just under his ear and feeling contented with the gasp he earned in response.

 

Ashton gained the control again when he leant back on his heels and tugged Luke forward by his ankles, the blonde boy soon laid flat on the seats beneath them, his left leg hanging off slightly. Ashton tore of his own sweater, folding it up and placing it under Luke’s head, the two of them giggling at the caring gesture.

“That was so fucking domestic” Luke mocked, Ashton shutting him up by leaning back over him and kissing him fiercely, rubbing his thumb over the boy’s puckered nipple. Luke sighed into his mouth, his hips bucking up in search of some friction as Ashton soon got the message and dropped his hips so that they were slotted together.

Luke let out a choked moan as Ashton ground down, dropping his head back and their lips breaking apart as he flushed in embarrassment; “Jesus Christ.”

“Nah, it’s just Ash” he mocked, smirking into the nape of Luke’s neck as the other boy dug his blunt fingernails into the warm flesh of Ashton’s shoulders, unable to contain his breathy whines as their growing arousals met repeatedly through the fabric of their jeans.

“Take ‘em off, please” Luke pleaded, no longer ashamed of his eagerness. Ashton complied instantly, tugging the light denim from Luke’s slender legs and shimmying around uneasily to remove his own. Luke couldn’t even find the energy to laugh at Ashton’s struggles, staying flat on his back as he worked on controlling his heavy breathing. He couldn’t comprehend the sculpt of Ashton’s body; the tense muscles of his back, defined lines on his stomach and gloriously firm legs – it was more than Luke could have ever dreamed of.

 

“You finished eyeing me up?” Ashton smirked, quirking his eyebrow as he slowly moulded himself back onto Luke, their hips aligning easily and their cotton clad bulge’s touching; “I’m not a piece of meat, Hemmings.”

“Fuck sake, are you _trying_ to ruin the mood??” Luke groaned, scowling slightly as Ashton chuckled into the groove where his neck and shoulder met, peppering kisses on the damp skin; “Because you’re doing a pretty good job of it.”

Luke’s façade crumbled when Ashton gripped his erection through his briefs and squeezed lightly; “Hmm, this would say otherwise” he taunted, Luke sighing gently into the heavy air at the contact he so desperately needed.

Ashton didn’t tease for much longer; scooting his body and situating himself so that he could begin to scatter kisses down Luke’s shimmering chest, the other boys veins dilated and heart thumping at the prospect of what was about to happen. Ashton liked a firm stripe along the skin above Luke’s waistband, smirking when the blonde bucked his hips up and a spurt of pre-come kicked out onto the restraining fabric.

“Shit, Ashton – please, you’re killing me here” Luke whimpered, his eyes clamped shut and head thrown back against the makeshift pillow Ashton had given him.

He hooked his fingers in the blonde’s briefs, tugging them over his raised hips and down his legs; “Want you to watch me, Luke” Ashton stated, his voice low and gruff causing goosebumps to rise over the other boy’s entire body; “Don’t want you to miss a thing.”

Luke found the will to lean up on his elbows and tilt his head downwards so that he could watch Ashton pepper his inner-thighs with kisses, nipping on the supple skin as he ran his hands up the outside of his legs; “You look so pretty like this, Ash” Luke managed to whisper, carding his hand gently through the obnoxious curls on the boys head, Ashton raising his gaze so that their eyes met.

“You should see it from where I’m sitting” he mumbled, licking a firm stripe up the underside of Luke’s length; “It’s a first class seat” he continued before wrapping his right hand around the base of Luke, his left meeting the boy’s hipbone to stabilise himself.

 

Luke could feel heat rise to the surface of his skin when Ashton spat on the head and used his hand to spread the saliva over the supple skin, his breath catching in his throat as he felt the ghost of Ashton’s lips on his slit. “ _Fuck_ ” is all he could hum when he felt the warm enveloping of the boy’s mouth, his cheeks and tongue wrapping around the expanse of his member as though it was something they were familiar with. Ashton couldn’t believe how good Luke looked like this – a _million_ times better than any girl he’s been with has looked – and it made his cock harden a little more when his gaze locked on Luke’s hooded eyes.

“You’re too fucking good at this – I’m gonna come _way_ too soon” Luke whimpered, one of his hands reaching behind him to slam against the fogged-up window and hold up his quaking body, his stomach muscles fluttering with every tightening of Ashton’s throat. His let out a guttural moan when Ashton hummed around his member before pulling off with a gasp, continuing to lick along Luke’s length as he fought for air.

“It’s alright, I want you to come” Ashton spoke, his voice raw from having Luke down his throat; “You’re gonna look so good, Luke – so fucking pretty” he continued before taking the boy back in his mouth, his hand winding its way between Luke’s thighs and continuing further south, meaning that –

 _Oh_. The graze of his index finger against Luke’s rim was enough for the blonde to gasp and his eyes to shoot open, his length throbbing between Ashton’s lips as he choked on the concentrated air in the vehicle. “What are you – oh fuck, oh _fuck”_ Luke cried, his upper body collapsing and his hand sliding down the window as he was no longer able to hold his own weight; “Ash, that’s – oh god.”

Ashton just continued to take as much of Luke into his mouth, the muscles of his throat fluttering around the boy as he lightly gagged and continued to press firmly against the ring of muscles with his finger. Luke was quivering above him; sweat beading on his hairline and causing his hair to droop when he ran the moisture through it with his hand in exasperation, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tumbled towards his release.

He barely had time to warn Ashton that he was going to come when the other boy began to roll his balls in his palm, a broken moan falling from his lips as his hand wound itself into Ashton’s hair and his hips bucked up wildly; “I’m coming, oh god – don’t stop, please” he managed to whine.

Ashton didn’t seem too shocked when he felt the beginning of Luke’s release coat the back of his throat, swallowing around the boy and determined to take all of what he had to give. He blinked back the tears in his eyes as Luke breathed heavily above him, pulling off of the finished blonde boy with a pop and gasping in the thick air as their gaze met once again, their pupils dilated and a glint of something _affectionate_ within them. Luke smiled lazily as Ashton kissed his way back up the expanse of his body, taking his time in admiring the beautiful features beneath his lips as Luke regained his composure.

 

“Are you sure you’ve never done that before?” Luke mumbled as Ashton pressed their lips together softly, running his hands over Ashton’s damp shoulders.

“Not from that end, no. But I’ve been given enough to have a rough idea of what to do” he chuckled, his voice still gruff from their previous activity.

“Well that was really fuckin good” Luke complimented, his hands having travelled down Ashton’s back so that his fingers were toying with the hem of his briefs, his hands tentatively slipping under the material to grasp the firm flesh of Ashton’s buttocks and his stomach tightening at the soft moan the other boy released; “But now it’s your turn.”

Ashton peppered kisses all over Luke’s face as he breathed heavily; “I won’t last long enough for that” he keened, sitting back so that he was sat on the seat and pulling a pliant Luke into his lap; “Just use your hands, pretty boy” he continued, shimmying his briefs down just enough so that his leaking member was released from its confines.

Luke didn’t need to be told twice; immediately spitting and licking his right hand and wrapping it in a loose fist around Ashton as he felt the other boy place firm hands on his hips, marks likely to be left behind as Ashton squeezed the flesh tightly whenever Luke’s fingers brushed the head of his cock. “That’s it – fuck” Ashton groaned, tipping his head back and Luke sucking harshly on his adam’s apple, humming whenever Ashton tried to pull him closer. “Come on, Ash” Luke cooed in his ear, twisting his wrist and using his other hand to scratch marks down his chest; “You look so good like this – so good for me.”

Ashton could feel his stomach muscles jumping and his heart pick up pace; the veins in his neck throbbing and mouth dropping open with a silent moan as he finally reached his releasing onto his lower abdomen. He leaned his head forward and caught Luke’s lips in between his, both of them spent and their bodies heavy as they shared a slow kiss in which they just sighed into one another’s mouths, craving the gentle feel of the tired press of the other’s lips.

 

“You’re perfect, Luke” Ashton admitted quietly, pulling from the kiss and pressing his forehead against Luke’s, registering the fact that the final track from the Stone Roses tape was going to finish any minute now; “- absolutely perfect. Everything about you is just so… _right?_ Like, I don’t even know how to feel anymore because you make me feel like fucking jelly or something.”

Luke laughed gently, cupping Ashton’s jaw in his hands and rubbing his thumbs across the expanse of his cheekbones; “I’m far from perfect” he muttered, kissing the tip of Ashton’s nose; “But I’ll be right here, by your side, until you no longer want me.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting you” Ashton shook his head, taking a deep breath pull his head from Luke’s so that he could gaze into the glistening pools of his eyes; “I think maybe I always have? I mean, this couldn’t have come from nowhere. I must have always been, um, y’know – _gay_ ” he whispered the last word, saying it seeming to burn his tongue as he allowed it to roll out.

Luke nodded his head slowly, taking Ashton’s right hand and holding it to his lips, placing feather-light kisses against his taut knuckles. “You don’t need to try and explain it” Luke reassured him; “I know how you feel about me and you know how I feel about you. I don’t think we need to place any labels saying who we are, or whatever.”

Ashton couldn’t agree more, leaning forward to place a lingering kiss on Luke’s swollen lips and humming in agreement, the quick peck soon becoming a bit more than intended when he ran his tongue along Luke’s lower lip to request access, but he was soon denied when the blonde pulled away; “I have to be home by seven, remember?” he muttered, Ashton whining like a child and earning a pinch on the stomach from Luke.

“Come on” Luke said gently, pulling himself from Ashton’s clinging embrace and attempting to find his clothes that were currently strewn all over the car; “I’m sure you’re brother’s going to wonder how your practice driving got along” he winked, Ashton’s cheeks flushing as he realised what they had just done in his _brother’s_ car.

 

Holding hands with Luke on the drive home seemed absolutely perfect until they reached the outskirts of their estate, the warmth of Luke’s fingers leaving the gaps between his and settling between his thighs so that there wasn’t even the risk of being caught. The reality of their situation once again came coming back – the fact that they couldn’t really be who they are and be with one another in public unless they were prepared to face a few fists.

Ashton scurried through the draw in the passenger seat for some of Owen’s girlfriend’s concealer, knowing that the two of them would have to hide the marks of love that they left on one another’s skin was enough for his heart to completely shatter. Would they ever get to be together in the way they want to be?


End file.
